Because Nixon was a Quaker–albeit, one who, if there were any justice in the world, would have been tried at Nuremberg alongside Henry Kissinger for war crimes in Viet Nam, Laos, and Cambodia, Chile, and East Timor. And if so, you know why his nickname was “Tricky Dickie.” And for those of you who didn’t see it, I’m asking you to please take your minds out of the gutter. Mes amis, you might know a little bit about Nixon and something called “Watergate” from watching HBO’s The White House Plumbers. Sallie Mae was the love child of Richard Nixon, banking and high finance. Treasury money to buy government-backed student loans from banks.” Sallie Mae, “transitioned to a fully privatized bank lender between 19,” and per The Nation, “as the largest lender it now sets the trends and standards for the industry.” The relationship of which I speak is, of course, your union with the student debt finance sector, a sprawling network with roots in the Student Loan Marketing Association, otherwise known as “Sallie Mae.” Sallie Mae was the first private company or “ government-sponsored enterprise (GSE) empowered… to use U.S. One that may well outlive your first marriage (especially given the considerable stress it will place on it), possibly both your parents, one of your siblings, and certainly a succession of furry friends with names like Lassie, Old Yeller, and Ben. One that will challenge you to open not simply your mind, and your heart, but your whole self–by which I mean, of course, your wallet.īecause, brothers and sisters–and all manner of queer kin alike–when many of you were in knee pants, you signed on the dotted line and agreed to enter into what may well be the most enduring relationship of your life. But I trust that the fact that this university is entirely fictional will render my lapse in civility more forgivable.īut here I stand, poised to greet you, as you close one chapter–or at least a subsection, paragraph or clause–and embark on a fresh, new journey. And many more of you will no doubt question whether I merit the honor of addressing this sea of exuberant young faces, given, especially, that no one invited me. No doubt some will question whether I merit the honorary degree with which I’ve just now been presented. On average, rod busters earn $37,639 a year, making this a solid career for someone without a college degree.The Transcript of My Imaginary Commencement Address at Milgram State University on the Topic of Student Debt They receive most of their training on the job, although they usually need some construction and power tool experience before moving up to this position. Rod busters need only a high school diploma in order to succeed in this career. They also need to know a lot about safety regulations in order to do this sometimes dangerous work without injuring themselves and have excellent physical stamina. In their work, rod busters use a number of power tools, such as blow torches and hand tools such as crowbars. They interpret construction blueprints to determine the size and arrangement of steel rods, cut the rods to length, and place rods where they are supposed to go. Rod busters are involved with every aspect of shaping and installing the steel rods. Steel rods are used to build the framework for a construction element before concrete is poured in order to stabilize the concrete. Rod busters, sometimes called rebar workers, shape steel rods and mesh that are used in construction.
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